The reason they are right is because they are doing it wrong. They have missed the point of the entire platform and how it works. According to Webster’s dictionary, the term “social” means, “of or relating to human society, the interaction of the individual and the group, or the welfare of human beings as members of society.” The key term in that whole thing is interaction. You cannot just post material day after day on social networking sites and never interact with other people. You need to comment on their posts, their home listings, their pictures, their comments, and their games. When you do that, you start a dialogue. The dialogue turns into a conversation and the conversation may turn into a friendship. Once you make friends then you can do deal! I’ll say that again in case you missed it. You need to make friends first and then that gives you the opportunity to do deals like sell a home. If you follow that rule about making friends first, then you’ll finally see results from social networking. This rule applies to any business and not just real estate.

I was recently consulting a non-profit group on internet and social marketing. They thought that they could spend $1500 a month on internet marketing and see a direct P&L result of say $3000 a month. Social networking doesn’t work that way. It’s not a cash machine where the standard profit and loss balance sheet applies. Here is what I told the nonprofit on what they could expect if they embark on an internet social media campaign:

“The most likely scenario to see a return on your investment will be in the form of relationships. You will broadcast a message and make yourself known to thousands of people every day (which is 100 times more than what you are doing now with a passive website). Out of that, conversations will happen, relationships are made, databases are formed, and followers ensue. Over time, those relationships will become stronger and leads to visits to the Ranch and that will lead to someone stepping up making a one-time gift donation of say $10,000. Then a second person will step up with a one-time gift and so on and so on.”

That’s the way social networking makes things happen. So stop posting information about homes; start conversations or provide value added information that start conversations. Make a friend and do a deal.

Dan Polimino is a Realtor with Fuller Sotheby’s International Realty. He can be reached at DPolimino@fullerproperties.com and www.coloradodreamhouse.com/denverpost

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Today’s realtors are stressed out more than ever. The pressure to sell homes, sell them quickly, and sell them in a “not so hot market” has never been greater. Talking with agent after agent each day, I have concluded that they are getting sucked in the toxic dance that has been happening with buyers and sellers. I have a short story that illustrates this point well.

I called an agent inquiring about putting an offer in on behalf of my buyers on his listing. On the phone he was charming, helpful, eager, and it sounded like it would be pleasant to do a transaction with him. We put the home under contract with his sellers and my buyers and the agent went from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. During the subsequent weeks while we were going through inspection, appraisal, and amendments he was defensive, uncooperative, and combative to say the least. I got to thinking why? Why are more and more agents finding it so hard to get along? Don’t get me wrong, it’s ok for an agent to be a hard negotiating advocate for his or her clients, but this isn’t war. The only explanation I could come up with is, “it comes from the top down.”  We clearly have a trickledown effect from the sellers to agents, buyers to agents, and brokerage firms to agents. The mood of the country is essentially setting the mood of all parties involved.

Back to the story: We ended up closing deal and the buyers got the home they wanted, but it wasn’t remotely smooth. It caused a lot of unnecessary trouble and stress for my buyers and all because the listing agent had a mindset of “who wins, who loses, and who gets their way.” It could have all been avoided.

What’s the moral to the story? It’s three-fold: 1) The economy has put a lot of people in a bad mood, but as agents, buyers, and sellers we need to find a way to rise above that. 2) Buyers and sellers need to understand that in most cases agents want to do a great job for them. Beating them up (figuratively) is not going to help. 3) The story above just underscores how valuable a truly good agent can be. It can make all the difference between a smooth and pleasant transaction and one that is a Nightmare on Elm Street.

Dan Polimino is a Realtor with Fuller Sotheby’s International Realty. He can be reached at DPolimino@fullerproperties.com and www.coloradodreamhouse.com/denverpost

I am not sure what it is; maybe the strain of the economy keeps everyone in a foul mood but it seems that one transaction after another pits the buyer against the seller in an adversarial war. The simple fact is that the seller distrusts and doesn’t like the buyer, and the buyer distrusts and doesn’t like the seller. As the agent, we are stuck in the middle, attempting to be the peace maker or referee between the two sides. Let’s just assume for a moment that we can get a buyer and seller together on price and it’s under contract. One would think that the acrimony would end there, but really, it’s just the beginning.

Next comes the inspection where they argue, haggle over inspection items or even the wordings of the inspection objection. My all-time favorite is a fight between the buyer and seller about matching sink stoppers in the master bath. Discussions, emails, and endless phone calls on why there are not two garage door openers or fights over $200 dollars. Why? So the buyer or seller can say or feel like they won the battle and other guy lost.

This is not about winning and losing and or how much you can stick it to the other guy. I am not naïve. I understand that we are living in an opportunistic time period, but is it possible to do it with civility, respect, and without all the acrimony?

I was talking to some of fellow colleague in preparation for this topic to find out if they were experience the same enormous discord between their buyers and sellers. Everyone to a man and woman said yes, but some told me not write this column because it would go through one ear and out the other. Maybe they are right and no one will pay attention to this column and it will be business as usual. I hope not.

Dan Polimino is a Realtor with Fuller Sotheby’s International Realty. He can be reached at DPolimino@fullerproperties.com and www.coloradodreamhouse.com/denverpost